Just what i want to see while at the grocery store

Tori’s comments about her Dean are breaking my heart too. “I miss my best friend”



I was frustrated with my doctor, and had to have one last visit with him today. I thought it was going ok, and I was considering keeping him, when all of a sudden he says “if you dont think i’m effective, find someone else” … wtf? then the nurse came back and said “doctor wants you to choose a new provider.” 
WTF. haha.
I felt like shit. He kept saying “you are a good person” but I dont really believe him.
I’m a bitch. a diabetic bitch.

This blog needs daily attention.

Work is going ok this week. Got enough praise. LOL. There is always some bullshit going on, but I’m still there.
Emotionally, I am feeling OK. I am taking some supplements, GABA and L-Tyresine and they seem to be helping. I stopped taking chemical antidepressants sometime last November. I am glad to be off them. I weaned myself slowly, but if I had to quit again, I would not do it right before the holidaze.
My mom got a bad bad flu on New Years eve. Here it is February, and she is just starting to feel a bit better. She has several ongoing medical issues, and I am seeing her daily to help as I can.

Who knows what I’m going to do with this blog. sigh.

when will i learn not to reach?

i found a text this morning
he wrote
“I want to come home”
he sent at 4:30 AM
notice its all about what he “wants”

so then at 6AM he posts
“Can we hang out? I miss you very much”
now thats more like it.
this works on me, so i type him back
about calling me later for dinner
i dont get a call, I text twice after work
he doesnt text back
i finally call
“im hungry” I say
he puts on his most pathetic voice
and chooses not to meet me

it turns out the same every time
i secretly have my hopes up
that he loves me
and wants to make it work
but he is not making any effort
in any areas of his life
he is in a deep pit
and only hard work will pull him out

he reached out to me
i reached back
and he turned it away.

he is a fool.

such a loser

so i called him today to find out when he could help me pay HIS BILLS. *not like alimony or anything* he blah blah blahed about it, and I asked him to pick up some shit of of my house and he gets all pissed at me, as if someone its MY fault that he lives in a room for rent? He has the same options as anyone. He is so fucking lucky that I am paying our bills for him. THE NERVE of him to get mad at me. He quickly starts on the same line of insults from over a year ago. I sure don’t miss that. I sure don’t miss any of that. blah.