Tag Archives: divorce

such a loser

so i called him today to find out when he could help me pay HIS BILLS. *not like alimony or anything* he blah blah blahed about it, and I asked him to pick up some shit of of my house and he gets all pissed at me, as if someone its MY fault that he lives in a room for rent? He has the same options as anyone. He is so fucking lucky that I am paying our bills for him. THE NERVE of him to get mad at me. He quickly starts on the same line of insults from over a year ago. I sure don’t miss that. I sure don’t miss any of that. blah.

Morning Glory World Peace.

I really need to make a decision about my last name, it makes me cry even to think about it.
I want to order business cards. i need to embrace whatever name im going to choose. the laziest way it to keep my married name. i feel like im settling, but it really is easier.

Cancer Free

I “graduated” from the oncology department today.

They said since there is no sign of any cancer, in blood work or cat scan, they don’t need to see me anymore.

And earlier this month I stopped seeing my endocrinologist, and also my psychiatrist.

Now I only see one doctor, my primary.

It’s weird how I feel bittersweet about it. I don’t feel special anymore, or deserving of extra affection.

I miss being doted on, and treated special because if my illness. I got free flowers in the spring.

I know that’s stupid. I should be super excited to be cancer free.

yay.

I am feeling li…

I am feeling like I want to file for divorce finally. I don’t know what I am waiting for.
The money is an issue, but mostly I also know its going to hurt,
like pulling off a band-aid …x1000.

I fear the finality of it all.
I was in denial all those months when he lived here, and a little piece of me still hopes we could make it work. I also do not like the logistics and the financial decisions involved. I feel like I already got the rotten end of this deal, and I don’t want to pay any more than I have to.

Gets me all anxious just thinking about it. So maybe I’m not ready.Image