Leave the pieces when you go

I never really listened to this song before

WRECKERS – LEAVE THE PIECES

You’re not sure that you love me
But you’re not sure enough to let me go
Baby it ain’t fair, you know
To just keep me hanging ’round

You say you don’t want to hurt me
Don’t want to see my tears
So why are you still standing here
Just watching me drown?

And it’s alright, yeah I’ll be fine
Don’t worry about this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road

There’s nothing you can do or say
You’re gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go

Now you can drag out the heartache
Baby you can make it quick
Really get it over with
And just let me move on

Don’t concern yourself
With this mess you left for me
I can clean it up, you see
Just as long as you’re gone

And it’s alright, yeah I’ll be fine
Don’t worry about this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road

There’s nothing you can do or say
You’re gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go

You’re not making up your mind
It’s killing me and wasting time
I need so much more than that
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

And it’s alright, yeah I’ll be fine
Don’t worry about this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road

There’s nothing you can do or say
You’re gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go
Leave the pieces when you go
Oh yeah, leave the pieces when you go

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah
Leave the pieces when you go

This song appears on:
Stand Still, Look Pretty Album Lyrics
Songwriters: William Austin;Jennifer Hanson

WRECKERS – LEAVE THE PIECES LYRICS

Copied from MetroLyrics.com

what a loser

He was a flake about money when we were married, so I don’t know why i expect anything different now.

The difference now, is that I don’t have a husband to live with me.

I get all the bill paying bullshit without the benefit of having someone to come home to. it fucking sucks. im so pissed at him right now.

He flaked on the first real job he ever had. Poor little man wont ever grow up.

HE IS NOT MY PROBLEM ANY MORE
and the sad part is,
HE IS NOT MY PROBLEM ANY MORE...

except for paying the bills. sigh.

Cancer Free

I “graduated” from the oncology department today.

They said since there is no sign of any cancer, in blood work or cat scan, they don’t need to see me anymore.

And earlier this month I stopped seeing my endocrinologist, and also my psychiatrist.

Now I only see one doctor, my primary.

It’s weird how I feel bittersweet about it. I don’t feel special anymore, or deserving of extra affection.

I miss being doted on, and treated special because if my illness. I got free flowers in the spring.

I know that’s stupid. I should be super excited to be cancer free.

yay.

take the good and the bad

I finally got a company email address. Only took 18 and a half years. I had asked the lady to name it “nancym” instead of using my soon-to-be-former last name. I told her I dont relate to that name anymore. so, of course, she forgot, and gave me nmatherly – i cant even stand to look at it. ITS NOT ME. I really need to ask her to change it. I mentioned it to her, and she was like “oh well” AUGH

Cleaning the closet

The power went out today and without the computer, I found time to clean Dean’s clothes out of his closet. He’d left a lot and told me (a year ago) to donate it all.

I saved some pieces for him, like his leather jacket.

It only took like 10 minutes, but it sucked, felt like he was dead.

I put his wedding shoes in the fireplace.

pfft forever.

I actually found this insulting, it makes me sad and mad and mostly sad, and mad.

It’s all true except the FOREVER part,
I might be only his “friend” forever,  just not my husband.

I sure miss the rest of that stuff, the support and laughter.

I did not fuck up Gods plan for me.

*** Dean leaving IS GODS PLAN FOR ME. ***

Bunch of shit people post on facebook…

i’d rather take the elevator

I really need to take steps toward D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

its all fun and games until someone puts an eye out

innocently suggested that we play a facebook game against each other, next thing i know he’s asking to come over to my house. NO. sorry, it just hurts too much. when will this pain go away. when? When can we be friends? ever? I have financial issues i need to discuss, and i’m scared because its too unpleasant. sigh

Postage

POSTAGE
Stevenson

I want to forget
The day we met
And the way I felt inside
I’m just a perfect failure
And all my plans gone wrong again

I’ll never replace you
But you are sick
And I know there’s no cure

So much to hate
But I hate to see you go
Without a fighting chance

I’ll never replace you
But you are sick
And I know there’s no cure

It doesn’t matter what I call you
As long as I call you
So I won’t call you anything
Or you’ll always have me
In the palm of your hand
So right now I forget you
Can you do the same for me?

You never tell the truth
But I can’t call you a liar
You’re never faithful
But I can’t call you anything

It doesn’t matter what I call you
As long as I call you
It doesn’t matter what I say
If I’m talking about you
I can’t call you anything
Or you’ll always have me in the palm of your hand

should i just invite myself?

party here, friends there. good times.
I know if I called they’d say “come over” but its not the same as being included. loneliness sucks ass. i wish my mom would just hang out here.

Originally written 7/13/12   but I failed to publish it.

I have to say,  a week later I am feeling the same way. I feel very alone. I even forewarned people that I would be vulnerable this weekend and please call me. Nope. I feel like a leper. It’s just not the same if I have to call to get invited. plus, I am having hormones.

blah